In a red building, on the 4th floor, behind a wooden door plastered with red “good luck” banners, is a small apartment unit. It’s old, not often tidy, a little cramped, but is always filled with warmth and love.
This is where I come from.
I was born in Beijing, China, and had a, shall we say, quite an unusual childhood. Shortly after my birth, my father left to attend graduate school in the US, leaving my mom with two-months old twin daughters. Soon after, she had to return to work, but what to do now? Both of her parents also worked at the time and couldn’t help take care of twins. But my dad’s parents were already retired. Thus, she brought us down south to a little town called Wuhu to our paternal grandparents.
But a few months later, my paternal grandfather fell ill and they no longer had the capability to take care of twins. So then came another solution: my sister would remain down south in Wuhu while my mom brought me back to Beijing to my maternal grandparents’ house.
A year later, when I was two, my mom flew to the US to join my dad, each of her daughters entrusted in the care of one set of grandparents.
We wouldn’t be rejoined with our parents until we were six years of age. After they had found a way to maintain a living in the States.
So as such, I spent my early years in China, enveloped in the affection of my grandparents. Somewhere along the way, my sister joined us in Beijing. My grandpa drove us to and from kindergarten everyday on his red tricycle, come rain or snow. My grandma taught us reading and simple arithmetic so that we would be ahead of the curve. We ate three square meals a day, all home-cooked by my grandma. My aunt and uncle took us around Beijing on weekends to play. We had a well-rounded childhood full of love.
Today, entering my grandparents’ door still conjures up all the feelings of nostalgia only a childhood home can bring. The delicious smell of food wafts from the small kitchen by the door, where my favorite childhood dishes are cooking. In the living/dining room, the table is set and is surrounded by an odd assortment of mismatched chairs. I walk down the hall to put down my things in the room I used to sleep in. In my days, I had a fluffy white bunny and now a fluffy white cat roams through the rooms. The small space is still crammed with all sorts of knick-knacks, the walls with my grandma’s artwork.
It’s a very much lived-in and loved space. Through the decades, it’s been through remodels and fires; it’s seen laughter and tears, comings and goings, goodbyes and returns, sometimes years in between. But through it all, it’s welcoming arms have always been the one constant.
The discerning difference now is that the apartment is a little quieter, the mood a little more somber. My grandpa’s infectious laugh no longer echoes through the rooms. Alzheimer’s has robbed him of his memories of the past few decades. On the bad days, he sits in silence un-acknowledging of the activities around him. On the good days, he smiles the same smile I remember so well and asks, who are you?
“You’re my grandfather. I used to live here, and you used to take me to kindergarten everyday on your tricycle.”
“Oh really. We have this history together?”
Indeed, this place is full of my personal history. When I leave, I walk down the same stairs I had walked hundreds, if not thousands, of times before. I wave goodbye to Granny Yin on the second door as I pass her door, behind which my childhood best friend used to live. I open the front metal door and step out onto the small porch. Across the way is the little park where my grandfather planted some trees decades ago, now fully gown.
This is where I come from. And I’m proud to call it home.
What a wonderful and well-written story, Anna, I could really feel the emotions as I read it. Thanks so much for sharing it, I loved reading it and learning about your childhood, and such an interesting one at that :)
Thanks Marcella! It was definitely unusual! I’m glad to have been able to experience childhood in 2 different countries and to have had that kind of relationship with my grandparents. :)
This is really special, Anna. My maternal grandparents came to visit from Taiwan starting several weeks before I was born. I loved being welcomed into the world in the presence of such caring people. Unfortunately now they’re also suffering from debilitating diseases and old age… but the memories live on. Thanks for writing this beautiful post!
I’m so sorry to hear that Daisy! It was hard to see my grandpa like that this visit, but I’m just thankful that for now he’s still well enough to live at home and be surrounded by people who care about him. That’s so sweet that your grandparents flew to the States to be there for your early weeks!
I absolutely loved this post Anna! It’s truly special! x
Thanks so much Amanda! x
This is a great post Anna! Love hearing background stories on bloggers and getting to know them a little big better :) Truly heartfelt.
Thanks Christine! I love getting to know the person behind the blog too, so I enjoy sharing about me as well. :)
such a beautiful story. and how lucky you are to have spent so much time with your grandparents!
Yeah! I think it is really special and unusual to be able to spend that much time with grandparents. Since I left China, I only got to see them once ever 5 years or so, but hopefully now that I’m traveling, I can go back more often. :)
This is lovely. Also, adorable photos :) My childhood home never changed; my parents are still living there. Though my room isn’t the same at all anymore, which is occasionally weird. Sometimes, before I wake up, I dream I’m back there.
That’s cool though that your family has stayed in the same place the whole time! Do you still have all your childhood things there? We moved around every few years so my grandparents’ place in Beijing is the only childhood home I am still able to visit.
Love this story and learning more about you! Wow. I was reading along and thinking, “What’s gonna happen next?” These kinds of moving around, being passed around, is common, but not that common and really crazy where we end up and how and why. And I had no idea you were a twin!
I think this kind of passing around is more common in China because grandparents do help take care of the grandkids more (I think… I could be totally wrong!). Sometimes, I still think it’s crazy that our family was so separated during our early years!
I have to say my childhood is not as eventful as yours. I’ve lived with my parents all my life, until I graduated and start working. Not much drama there. But my childhood home is still very much the same and my parents still live there. It is as old as me, my parents only moved there the exact month that I was born!
That’s cool! I think it must be awesome too to grow up in one home and always have that home to return to with all the memories and childhood things. We moved every few years since all being together in the States. So there’s only my old Beijing home that holds this kind of nostalgia.
I loved reading about your childhood, you and your sister are adorable! I grew up moving every few years until I was in high school so I never know what to call my hometown.
We moved every few years too ever since being in the States, so I know what you mean! We spent the longest amount of time in California (though we moved homes a few times) so I just say that’s where I’m from. I’m lucky to have Beijing to call my early childhood home.
This was such a lovely post to read! Such happy memories! I’m sorry about your Grandpa, it’s such a horrible thing, but you two have so many happy memories to remember.
My childhood wasn’t too exciting, I can’t quite put a finger on where I would call home, I’ve never been too attached to my “home”, so I prefer to make my own where ever I go.
Home is just wherever you are happy and loved, and you have that right now in Belgium. :)
It was sad to see that my grandpa doesn’t remember anything in the past 30 years or so anymore, but I can remember for the both of us. :)
What a lovely post – enjoyed every word.
Thanks so much for reading Antonina. I really appreciate it. :)
Your story reminded me of my cousins in the Philippines who are also twins. My aunt was divorced but had to work. One twin went to another aunt while the other went with the father. The twins never did live together again, so your story has a happier ending in that respect. You paint such an interesting picture of your family history, and I’m so glad you shared it with us.
Oh wow, that’s so sad to hear :(. Did they ever meet again at least, or did any went back to the mom? I guess this kind of family separation is more common in Asian families. I’m grateful that we were all able to be reunited.
What a wonderful story. That must have been really hard on your parents. I can’t imagine having to leave my babies. Sorry about your grandpa, it is hard to see loved ones age.
When I think about it, it’s so crazy that our family was so separated like that! It all turned out good in the end. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for a parent to leave their kids, but it was so we can all have a better life in the States.
So moving Anna. I’m so glad you’ve shared this story of your roots with us – I’d no idea you and your sister were separated from your parents for so long. Must have been so tough for them but sounds like there was no shortage of kindness and warmth in their absence. Must be hard to see your Grandpa suffer with Alzheimers. What a selfless character to have taken you to kindergarten whatever the weather with such love. My grandfather suffered from the same thing. It was so sad to see him go from a military man of such pride to eventually over time not recognising us and losing all independence for day to day activities but it made me smile to read that your Grandpa’s smile still shines through from time to time.
I’m so sad to hear about your grandpa going through the same thing too (my grandpa was a military man as well). It’s such a horrible disease. It’s sad that he doesn’t recognize me anymore, but really, I’m just thankful that right now he still recognizes my grandma and his kids and he can still live at home. I’m glad he’s still surrounded by people who care about him.
Last summer, we visited a childhood summer home of my husband’s in Tbilisi, Georgia– the one he hasn’t been to since turning 7. There was so much of that feeling of nostalgia that you are describing – turning the corner on the same stairs, climbing the same (but now much bigger) cherry tree, going down the street to the same barber. Childhood homes are very special — it was such a treat to read a little about yours :)
Oh that must have been so special! That’s so cool that he found it again after all these years. Is his family still living there or are new people in the house now?
His extended family is still there, though many have left. But the thing is it looks exactly the same as he remembers. Parts are in need or repair, but it still retains a lot of beauty and charm :)
I love reading about alternative upbringings, it sounds like yours was full of love. I can’t see myself providing a traditional upbringing to my own child (when I have one) and although my Mum really wanted to give us a traditional childhood, it ended up being a bit different as I grew up in a boarding house from the ages of 5-9 years old where we lived upstairs and had tenants downstairs. There were some interesting (and some quite disturbed) people that boarded with us. Then we lived on a farm for 5 years in an old Kiwifruit Packing Shed that was made habitable. I loved my childhood and wouldn’t have had it any other way, it shaped me into the person I am today
That sounded like an amazing childhood to have been exposed to a variety of people and then farm living! I always think it must be nice to live on a farm someday. If I ever have kids, I would want them to have a more alternative/varied upbringing too.
Loved reading about your story, I love how smells and tastes bring us back to beautiful memories. I have always wondered though, because I lived in only one same place my whole life before moving to Slovenia (with the exception of my exchange semester abroad but it literally doesn’t count), how you view the world now growing up in 2 such different cultures. It feel it is so fascinating to be able to have 2 places to call home!
Being born in China and then moving to the US definitely made me a kid of two cultures. My parents still held the traditional Chinese values while I also became more Americanized in my way of thinking. It is still hard in some ways now. Now, when people ask where I’m from, I just say California since it’s where I’ve lived the longest, but everytime I go to my grandparents’ house, it does feel like going back home!
Gorgeous story, Anna. This is what makes your blog so unique in the ‘travel blogging’ world! It doesn’t separate travel from life – all aspects of life. Past, present and future. Thank you for your words! x
Thanks so much Terri! I’m glad that I have this blog as a space for my personal reflection and I’m happy to share it with you! x
<3 Beautiful. Your words are simple, yet eloquent.
Thanks so much for reading Mere! I’m happy to be able to share my childhood home with everyone. :)