I had speculated that Southeast Asia may cause a fair bit of culture shock. There’s the heat, the food, the markets, the more conservative way of dress, the language barrier, and of course my fears of giant cockroaches and squat toilets.
Turns out, I didn’t have much to fear. Most people speak a little English to communicate, I’ve only come across a handful of cockroaches, and I have not had to use one single squat toilet. I was even surprised myself at how fast Thailand felt like home. We did have to get used to some things, but they were all easily figured out. But apparently, the most perplexing thing of all was the common house toilet.
We’re in a new hotel on the outskirts of Chiang Mai. At this point, we’ve been in Thailand for just under a week. We’ve been adjusting to life in Thailand and getting ourselves comfy in our little apartment on Nimmanhaemin, but because of the lantern release festival in Mae Jo, we decided to book a hotel nearby.
I use the bathroom first and notice that there is no toilet paper (did they forget to stock?). I look around to see what else I can use, and see a box of Kleenex on the vanity and a hose next to the toilet. I pick up the hose. A stream of water shoots out. Naturally, like anyone with half a brain cell, I deduce that you’re supposed to wash off with the water spray and dry off with a towel or with the Kleenex.
“Hey babe, make sure you don’t flush the Kleenex when you use the bathroom, ok?” I remind D when I get out, knowing that it’s exactly the kind of thing he’d do, having been an OC kid all his life.
“What? There’s no toilet paper?”
“No, only Kleenex and you can’t flush those.”
Let me interrupt here and say that we’ve been having wireless problems all evening and the staff has come around a couple of times already to try to help us (but to no avail).
“Why wouldn’t you tell the staff that they didn’t give us toilet paper when they literally just came by?”
“Errr… I didn’t think I need to.”
“You’re so inefficient!! Why would you complain about no toilet paper and then not say anything when they were here?!” His voice rising.
“I didn’t complain. I just told you to not flush the Kleenex! You use the water spray thingy to wash, and if you use the Kleenex, then just throw it in the bin!”
“Well, I’m not putting it in the bin!!”
“You have to because you can’t flush Kleenex!”
“Why not?!”
“Because it doesn’t dissolve like normal toilet paper!” Is he seriously this stupid??
“Then call them and ask for toilet paper!” He demands.
“No! This is just what they do here! The plumbing probably can’t handle it!” I shout back, extremely annoyed at his lack of regard for custom.
Hmmm, now that I think about it, I have just been flushing toilet paper down the toilet up until now. So far, I’ve only ever used the toilet in our AirBnB rental (which has a hose next to it too, though I didn’t know what it was for), and it didn’t come with instructions. It didn’t occur to me to do differently from what I usually do back home. I make a mental note to no longer do that.
But D doesn’t agree. “Call them now and fix it!!!!”
“What’s your problem?! Just throw it in the bin!!!”
“CALL THEM!!”
I begrudgingly call the front desk only because I want to stop yelling at each other. And to prove I’m right. “We don’t have flushable toilet paper,” I say, feeling like an idiot Westerner.
“Toilet paper?” the lady asks, confused. “It’s in a box on counter.”
“Yeah, but it’s not flushable.” I cringe at my own words.
Due to the language barrier, the nice lady doesn’t understand, and once again comes up to our room, this time with an armful of Kleenex packages. I take her to the bathroom and mime flushing the Kleenex. “No no no!” she exclaims. “In here!” And points to the bin.
Ha, just like what I said.
When she leaves, I turn to D and smirk. “So yeah, make sure you don’t flush the Kleenex, ok?”
Team D finally conceded.
That’s right. We had a screaming match over the correct way to clean your ass. I am smug that I’m in the right, though.
Postscript: Since then, I’ve never tossed paper into the toilet again and started using the hose. I gotta say that I really like it! If I ever settle down somewhere, I’m totally getting my toilet outfitted with a washing wand too!
Have you made any cultural blunders? Have you fought with your partner over something completely stupid?
Haha! At least D came around. I’ve definitely known who were all “blah blah I’m just going to flush it anyway” despite the signs on practically every public bathroom asking not to do that.
At that point, we haven’t used a public bathroom yet so we didn’t see any signs. I don’t know why throwing the paper in the bin is such a big deal to Westerners! I guess it’s really dirty to them!
Oh. My. Gosh. We had the same thoughts in Thailand. We’d been flushing the toilet paper in our AirBnb in Bangkok and had seen the hose- eh, maybe it’s just to make cleaning the bathroom easier? Then we got to our hotel in Chiang Mai and there was a sign about not flushing the toilet paper. I then Google’d how to use the “bum gun” as the Internet calls it. Though at first the boyfriend was very anti-throwing away toilet paper in the bin, we learned to thoroughly enjoy the sprayer thingy and now we would also like one in our future house. They are really fabulous. Hilarious!
Hahaha! That’s so funny! ! I’m glad we weren’t alone in this! At first I thought the hose was for cleaning the bathroom too or something, lol.
“Bum gun”… I love that! Isn’t it the best? It totally makes sense!
I was the other way round. When I first set foot on American soil, I was perplexed by the lack of hose in the toilets. How did all these white people get their butt clean without water? All those talks of food safety and hygiene and everything and not a worry about shitty ass. It made me quite uncomfortable the first week or two :D
Anyway, if it is toilet experience you seek, you should probably come to Malaysia or Singapore. We have the hose, plus flushable toilet paper.
HAHA! I think you may be right. I feel like it’s so much cleaner to clean off with the water spray. I actually love it that the SEA countries have that! Our other apartments all have normal toilet paper too, but I still know now not to flush them (sometimes there will be an instruction sign too). :)
Lol, we wash in Pak so I’m used to that. They sell them in America too, if you ever want one, it’s called a Mrs Bidet (pronounced badae)
Awesome!! I just looked it up. Yesssss… I do want one should I have a real house someday!
Haha I love the random things couples, or even friends, get annoyed with when traveling. I remember not being able to flush the toilet paper in the Greek islands. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal (I grew up riding horses, peeing in my horse’s stall when the need arose!) but another girl wasn’t so sold on the sanitary merits. Hey, when in Rome, right? ;)
Why do westerners think it’s so weird?! Haha! I don’t think it’s a big deal either. I remember needing to do that at my grandparents’ house in China (as well as manually flush with a bucket of water, lol).
There MUST be a “toilet habits of the world” blog. If not, there should be. I agree the washing after using the toilet makes sense. Now, the hotel I stayed at in Tokyo had a magnificent toilet with about 12 buttons for various rinsing, seat heating and sanitizing functions. It was wild!
Generally, Steve and I don’t argue much, but I have to say, when we do, sanitation is right up there. :)
The Japanese toilets must be the most advanced toilets in the world! I’ve come across a couple of them (in Japanese restaurants in Los Angeles) and it’s so fun to play around with the different buttons!
Thanks so much for stopping by Deb. :)
Oh my gosh this made me laugh. Typical boys (sorry, D!) haha. Glad you won though Anna ;) Also very glad to hear you have yet to use a squat toilet…I’m hoping to go to Thailand next year and I’m really not keen on that idea.
I was so nervous about the toilet situation, but you really don’t have to worry at all! I’ve found Thailand to be a very very clean country in general. All the public toilets I’ve used so far have been really clean and Western style (but sometimes, it’s manual flush where you have to dump in a bucket of water to flush :) ).
LOL, thanks for giving me a laugh! :) This could totally have been Espen and me. We tend to have these stupid arguments some times, especially when we are tired, hungry or exhausted from traveling and have just got to a new place. Glad you won! :)
Oh yes, being tired or hungry is always a catalyst for more stupid fights!! Unfortunately, we’re often more tired than not, haha!
Haha, I was chuckling so much reading this! Though I must admit, I think a few years ago, it would have been me in D’s position and Pumpkin trying to teach me otherwise but fortunately, my travels have wised me up a bit more about these differing toilet customs across the world!!
Shikha, I am shocked! Didn’t you grow up with childhood trips to India? :P I imagine that you’ve done a lot worse!
Haha! My husband and I always have a really big yelling matches over a really dumb subjects on almost every travel. It usually becomes something we laugh about later.
Glad we’re not the only ones! It’s so amazing what stupid things you can have a whole fight over. And yes, we do laugh about it later!
Growing up I only knew about the hose (or they use buckets when there isn’t a hose) coming from a Filipino family. But living in America, it’s all about the toilet paper. But it’s nice to know the different customs of wiping etiquette from around the world!
Personally, I really like the hose :D. I come from a Chinese family, so I’m not weirded out by not flushing the TP, or even manual flush with buckets. I can see how it must be so different for someone who’s only been in America!
“You are so inefficient!” Best. Insult. Ever.
Lol! I think that’s his favorite one!
Wow! I’ve not been very deep into SE Asia yet but I’ve never encountered anything other than squat toilets or fancy Japanese ones. I wouldn’t know what the heck to do with a wand and I probably would’ve definitely flushed the Kleenex. Good to know, hah
Now you know when you come to SEA! I think the wands are almost everywhere here!