Top

slightly astray

an honest look at life on the road

The weird and wonderful of China

Every time I go to China, I make more interesting observations about the culture there. I absolutely love some of the traditions and customs, and some completely baffle me.

About 1.5 years ago, I wrote a heartfelt piece about Lessons From Time Spent in China. This time, I thought I would put together a fun little list of the weird and wonderful things I’ve discovered about China, accompanied with some of my favorite photos from the past 1+ year.

If you’re traveling to China, maybe you’ll find some of these helpful. And for everyone else, I hope you enjoy this little insight into modern Chinese culture!

(Keep in mind, a lot of this – while true – are written in a tongue-in-cheek way. I love China and am not intentionally saying bad about it.)

Beihai Park in Beijing

me, my grandma, and my mom

1. Body fire is a mysterious affliction that only seems to affect Chinese people. This is the belief that certain foods cause your body to heat up, while other foods cool it down. Consuming too much of either is bad. Chinese people are forever trying to find an eating balance so that it’s just right. I can’t keep track of this, but somehow, whenever I go to China, I come down with a case of body fire.

2. Everyone refers to each other by how they’re related age-wise. As long as you’re not in the same generation, you must refer to a person by their age relation, never by name. It’s extremely impolite to call someone older than you by name. In America, it’s okay to call your partner’s parents by name, but in China, this is the bigger faux pas ever.  I call all my mom’s friends Aunties and Uncles. My grandma’s friends are all Grannies and Grandpas. Any kids will call me Big Sister, etc.

And don’t even get me started about actual relatives. A uncle is not just a uncle. There are very specific terms for mother’s older brother, mother’s younger brother, father’s older brother, father’s younger brother, father’s older brother’s wife, father’s younger brother’s wife, mother’s brother’s wife, etc. etc. etc. If you’ve got a big family, you’ll need to know exactly how to refer to each person.

Temple of Heaven in Beijing

panda in Chengdu!

3. I really like how the Chinese culture respect the elderly. It’s custom to give up seats on the bus/metro to the elderly and everybody respects that. One of my Aunties was seriously offended when she was in the U.S. and nobody gave up their seats for her on the metro.

4. You will forever be treated as a kid by your family. Even though I’m already 30 and completely independent, every time I go to China, I feel like a small child again. My older generation relatives still call me “little kid”, as in “I can’t believe that little kid can play mahjong so well.”

“When will I stop being thought of as a kid?” I asked one of my aunties (my mom’s friend). “When you have your own children,” she answered.

But heck, even though my mom is already 60, her mom still treats her like a kid.

my sister and I on China National Day

the famous Nanjing Road in Shanghai

5. Food is the most important in social culture. The most common greeting is “have you eaten”? People show their caring for each other by feeding them. It’s not good to eat with others and actually finish everything on the table. There must be more food than people and you must end up with leftovers. Chinese people are forever concerned that their guests don’t have enough to eat.

6. In line with the above, there are two phrases that people never understand: “I’m already full” and “I’m not that hungry.” I swear, these mean nothing. You will still get a table full of food.

7. Chinese people are loud. It’s not impoliteness; it’s just part of the culture. Accept that.

8. Dating in China is serious business. And there are a bunch of rules. In general, men are only considered to be eligible bachelors if they own a house. Real estate is super expensive in China, so women only want to marry men who have a house. So usually, parents will try their best to help their son buy a house so they’re marriage material.

The man’s finances are important to attract a woman. My cousin said that one guy she went out with, early on, he disclosed all his income, bank, and investments info. Men don’t think the girl is being a gold-digger for wondering about his finances. It’s just perfectly natural to show the girl he can provide security.

grape picking with my Airbnb roomies in Chengdu

a scene in a Beijing hutong (old traditional community housing)

9. It’s completely acceptable to comment on one’s weight and looks. If you haven’t seen someone in a while, it’s completely okay to comment that you’ve put on weight. In fact, it’s even okay to outright say that you’re fat. Ex: “You’ve gotten fat lately! Have you been eating too much?” (Perhaps it’s because of #5, which makes it impossible to diet!).

This should never be taken personally, even though it sounds awful. Just smile and acknowledge that you have, in fact, put on weight.

10. Speaking of fat, there is a very skewed definition of it. China favors the tall, lean, slim body type. Someone completely average in the U.S. will be fat in China. Basically, I’m practically obese in China. I don’t even fit into size Large denim shorts, despite being just 5′-0″. True story.

Beijing Botantcal Garden

Qianmen in Beijing

11. Chinese people never go dutch. They are generous with their friends. Usually, one person will just treat everyone when friends go out together. No one likes to count pennies on how much each person’s portion cost. Chinese people think you’re weird if you insist on paying for yourself. I literally had to chase my Chengdu roomie around the apartment to pay my portion.

This is so unlike America, where everyone keeps their money separate and neither want to give nor owe.

12. There are many many dialects in different regions of China. It’s always so interesting to go to another region and not understand a single word. But everyone speaks the common Mandarin, known as “standard language.”

Tiananmen Square on National Day

pagoda and water lilies

13. China’s digital wallets are super advanced. They seem light years ahead of the rest of the world in this department. The young people never even carry a wallet anymore. All you need is your cell phone. Everywhere – from clothing stores to sit-down restaurants to the little corner fruit tarp – now accepts digital payment. It’s incredibly cool. Just too bad I still need to do the old-fashioned cash, because you can only set up a digital wallet if you have a Chinese banking account.

14. China has the most amazing apps. Taobao is the most amazing thing ever. It’s like Amazon on crack. You literally never need to step foot in a store ever again. Anything you can possibly need can be ordered on Taobao (for fast free delivery) – from clothes to home stuff to meat to groceries. Even restaurant take out.

There is also literally an app where you can hire someone to wait in lines for you. Comes in handy when you don’t want to wait in a 3 hour line at that trendy restaurant.

I hope you enjoyed this! The Chinese culture is so interesting. I know China could be an overwhelming place for visitors, but I hope this helps you understand it a bit better. Just visit with an open mind, and you’ll discover a beautiful country with some of the kindest people. :)

What are some weird and wonderful cultural customs where you live?

Comments

  1. Totally agree with Taobao! Someone showed me the other day and my mind was blown! Also don’t forget, you’re kinda weird if you don’t have a bf or married after 30 😅 But yes to everything on this post!!

  2. Anna, I throughly enjoyed this post! I seriously learnt so much. And funnily enough, a lot of these things happen in Chile too. I could relate to having to use uncle and auntie, rather than first names, I still can’t get used to it!!

  5. Love all of this!! I recently met Adam’s Chinese uncle who lives in Australia and he was explaining to me the different terms for aunts, uncles, grandparents depending on who married who, etc. So interesting, and something I never learned in my Mandarin classes! Also, lol the food part is so true. Even though Adam’s mom has lived in the US for 30 years, she is still very Chinese in that sense. She doesn’t believe you if you say you’re full and is constantly worried you’re hungry or haven’t had enough to eat. I’ve learned to just go with it and realize she’s only doing it because she cares! And I agree about the phone payments! Did I tell you that when I got back to Seattle after China, all those QR code bikes were all over the city? They weren’t there when I went to China, but then I came home and there were 3 different companies with those bikes scattered all over the place! I guess a Chinese guy started the company here. Makes sense – but so cool we got to see it first in China!

    • I can’t believe they didn’t teach you all the relative names in Mandarin classes, but I suppose it would have been super confusing! And yep – my grandma never believes me when I say I’m not hungry! I just accepted that I’m going to gain a couple of pounds whenever I visit her. And that’s so cool that Seattle has the bikes now. I wonder if LA has them.

  6. It’s very interesting to see that most of this list also applies in Taiwan as well. :) And I’ve given up trying to buy clothes in Taiwan eons ago since nothing would fit me! >”<

  7. Happy to learn more about China and its culture thru your post. I see resemblances between the Chinese and Latin. We are both loud and speak the language of food. You have no idea how many times I have been served food when I have said I am not hungry. It feels wrong to say “no” to a grandma. I am sure you understand me. The way to refer to relatives varies in Latin American countries. In Puerto Rico, the relationship is informal but other countries are very formal. #WanderfulWednesday

    • Oh cool, I didn’t know there are different terms for relatives in Latin culture too. And I think the language of food is the best language there is. :) Chinese people really do show their caring through food!

  8. I love hearing about all those old traditions that are still being kept alive in China today! SO interesting! I’m glad that I’m not dating there though, lol! Can women even buy real estate on their own or do they need a man?

    • Women can buy if they have the money. But it’s just that real estate is REALLY expensive in China, so most middle class people can’t afford it on their own. So women want to marry a man who already owes a house (or least has the means to buy a house soon).

  9. Ahhhh this is so cool – I loved reading these facts, I got totally sucked in haha. I’m pretty sure I could get used to people constantly offering me food lol, but probably not to people commenting on my weight.

  10. I found this post so fascinating! You could write hundreds of these and I’d read them all avidly. I just find it so interesting. I love the stuff about people being primarily concerned about feeding others. And always having leftovers. But then how can they complain that you’ve put on weight!? Or is it more of an observation like, it’s sunny today?? Anyway. Write more of these please.

    • I think it’s just an observation. I always think it’s funny that commenting on weight is the most normal thing ever in China, and it’s like such a no-no in Western culture.

  11. Wow, so interesting! I’ve always wanted to visit China and when I was 11, I tried to teach myself Mandarin using a dictionary online. It did not go very far, haha!

    But I will say I found your first point the most fascinating. One of my best friends from my study abroad in Vienna studied Chinese medicine and she told me about the cooling and warm foods. She said I needed to cool down after “reading” my tongue and a year later, I ended up being diagnosed with lupus, which is known for inflammation.

    I just love all of these differences in culture. So fascinating to see how values are embedded even in the smallest, ordinary interactions! :)

    • Mandarin is a hard language! I’m impressed you tried to learn yourself. Oh wow, did you ever learn which types of foods are cooling foods? I have no idea still, but I always seem to be heavy on the heating foods. Btw, I really hope you’re doing better now!! I’ve been following your progress on Instagram and I’m glad to see that you’ve been better recently! xx

  13. So up for the line-queuing app haha – that would go down a treat in London! Seriously, this is a fascinating glimpse into a country I really want to visit. And beautiful photos!

  14. I kinda feel like #2, 5-6, 9-10, and 12 are an Asian culture thing and not just a Chinese thing because it’s so prevalent with all the Asian countries I’ve been to. Glad to see you reconnect with your family and enjoying the most of the past year. <3

    Teesh ♥ Adventures of Cupcake Girl