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slightly astray

an honest look at life on the road

20 experiences and lessons in my 20’s

Woohoooo… first post of the new year!

This past year has been such a huge year for me. It’s been quite a heavy year filled with a lot of learning and self discovery. I feel like I should write something to mark the end of year, but I’m still not ready to put it all into words (but you guys know what happened). Instead, when I saw that Jessi put out this post, I knew I had to do it too!

I’ve been 30 for almost 2 months now, but let’s just pretend it’s still fresh (and also pretend that I didn’t procrastinate so much on getting this post out). It did also just so happened that my 30th coincided with a major turning point in my life. So instead of doing just a re-cap on the past year, what better way to end this year by reflecting back on the entire past decade?

So without further rambling, here are 20 of my most significant experiences in my 20’s (some lighthearted and some more profound), in no particular order!

1 | Seeing the floating lights in Chiang Mai

One of my biggest dreams come true! Seeing thousands of lanterns floating up into the sky at once was one of the most magical moments I’ve ever experienced. I literally cried with happiness and the beautifulness of it all. It was truly like something out of a fairy tale.

2 | Becoming a professional engineer

wow, can’t believe this was almost 6 years ago!! Me on one of my jobsites

I may not be doing work in this field now, but I am damn proud of this achievement!  I got my license as a professional civil engineer when I was 25. The year of hardcore studying it took was not fun. And the 13 hour test was probably the worst thing ever. I’ve never believed myself to be naturally talented at engineering-type stuff. So it took a TON of dedication and studying. And I realized that I could do anything I set my mind to.

3 | Becoming best friends with my sister again

My sister and I are twins. We were really close when we were young, until life and other stuff caused us to drift apart in adulthood. The bond was seriously severed when I quit my job and left the US to travel – a decision that none of my family supported.

If you’ve been following for at least a year, you may remember that last summer, she fell seriously ill. I flew back to LA to be with her in the hospital and during the recovery period. This whole ordeal was terrible, but we became closer than ever. Now, we talk just about every day. And I love having a sister who’s now my best friend.

4 | Experiencing an international relationship

On my 30th birthday, I told you guys in this post that I had met a local boy in Kuala Lumpur. Although the time span of this relationship may have been short, it was no less special. He was a true caring, kind person and showed me how I should be treated. I don’t know if he still reads this blog, but if he does, then I hope he knows how much it meant to me.

I never in a million years would have imagined that I’d fall for a Malaysian guy. I never thought I’d want to stay in a foreign country for someone. The relationship didn’t have a happy-ever-after ending, but it still taught me that you will never know who’ll come across your path and you’ll never know what your heart will want.

5 | Living in Santiago, Chile

This was the first place I have ever really traveled to (that wasn’t road trips or visits to China). I will never forget the fear and excitement of flying to somewhere where I knew absolutely nothing, and then the almost panic when it wasn’t what I expected. And later on – the incredible feeling of freedom, awe, and real happiness.

Santiago isn’t my favorite city and I would probably never choose to go back and live there again. But it has permanently imprinted itself onto my heart in a way that no other city ever can. This is the place I fell in love with travel and freedom and this new kind of life.

6 | Road tripping with my best college friends

I think road trips are one of the most fun ways to travel. And even better when you grab a few of your favorite pals, a car full of junk food, music, a map, and head out on the open road. I’m so happy that we were able to have a couple of awesome road trips and memories before things like life, responsibilities, and (ahem) leaving the country.

Picture stolen from my friend Omair!

7 | Loving and losing

As you know, I started my 30’s (newly) single. Yes it was pretty depressing at the time, but now that I’ve had a couple of months, I realized that each journey of loving, dedicating myself to someone, and ultimately losing has improved me and gifted me with new wisdom. With each (failed) relationship, I’m learning more and more what I have to offer and what I deserve. I’m proud to be the kind of girl who can wholeheartedly love and support someone. And I’m also proud to be the kind of girl who can stand alone and grow only stronger.

8 | Starting a new career as a freelancer

For a long time after I quit my job, I believed I didn’t have any skills. Heck, even when I was an engineer/project manager, I wasn’t a good one. Anyway, this fear of not being good enough kept me from looking for real work for a long time.

But then by keeping this blog, I realized that maybe I do have a marketable skill after all. And then because of the blog, I was able to get writing work, and sure, I don’t make as much as I did before, but I’m happy to say that I now earn a living as a freelancer.

9 | Backpacking across Europe

one of my favorite pictures from that trip – bikes and canals in Amsterdam

In the first year of travel, we spent 3 months backpacking across Europe, making our way from London to Istanbul. It was a very hectic summer and there were some moments that weren’t our brightest, but it was a fabulous time. We saw so much, did so much, and ate so much. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do something like that again. Just because I actually work now and have no desire to travel at that pace again.

10 | Reconnecting with my family in China

I <3 this picture – my grandma with her 3 grandkids

One of the best things about traveling and the freedom is that I can use it to spend more time with family. Ever since I moved to the US at the age of 6, it’s been difficult trying to maintain a close relationship with the family that lived halfway around the world. We only got to fly back to visit once every 5 years or so. But in the past year, I’ve been able to spend so much time with my family in Beijing. Finally after over 2 decades of being gone, I feel like I belong once again in my birth city.

11 | Petting a baby giant panda

Okay, so it was through bars and not like I got to cuddle it or anything, but I still love this moment! Because I petted and fed a baby panda! This was at the Beijing Zoo, when my mom’s best friend’s son worked in the panda house.

12 | Starting this blog

First, I admit that it’s still slightly embarrassing to admit to people that I have a blog. And I hardly ever tell people I meet the name of it because I don’t want them to search for it. And I’m not the best or most consistent travel blogger. But the truth is that I love this blog. It’s my baby. This may be the only thing that I created completely by myself, from scratch, haven’t given up on, and I’m proud of it.

I also love all the friends I’ve made through here (whether they’ve become real-life friends or virtual for now), so don’t be afraid to say hi!

13 | Learned to ski

It’s incredibly thrilling to be speeding down a snowy slope with two thin strips of wood strapped onto your feet. Even when I accidentally went up a slope way too steep for my level, and started panicking and cried and had to slide down on my butt.

14 | Caring for two little bunnies

I had my friend Ron do a goodbye photoshoot for me and my bunnies

I adopted Sam and Stella from a neglectful home and it took a long time for them to trust me. It felt so incredibly rewarding when I finally earned their love. For 6 years, they brought so much joy into my life… little bunny feet running all over my room, little bunny kisses to wake me each morning… To this day, I still consider giving them up (they went to a really nice new mom!) as the biggest sacrifice I made for travel.

15 | Nights out with girlfriends

Now that all my girlfriends are in their 30’s now too and settling down with their respective partners (and babies)… I’m pretty sure nights out like this are a thing of the past. Whether these were nights out in LA or in Vegas, I love the memories of dressing up, going out, dancing, and well… what happens during a girls’ night stays within the circle, right? :P (Just kidding mom, seriously nothing really ever happened.)

16 | Taking glamour photos in China

Because sometimes, you just have to dress up in luxurious costumes and be a glamour queen for a day! And now when I’m old, I can show my grandkids and be like “I was beautiful when I was young.” (Fake, professional makeup and lighting, photoshopped beauty, but still!)

17 | Eating everything in Vietnam

Vietnam is one of the best foodie destinations ever! Everything is just so delicious and fresh there. And where else do you see tiny women who carry their entire restaurant on their shoulders? And where else do you get to have a freshly made meal for you right on the sidewalk while you sit on a tiny stool?

18 | Sold all my crap

It’s incredibly liberating to be freed of material stuff that tie you down. It’s a good feeling to know that all your possessions fit in only one-carry on luggage and that everything you need to survive packs down to 20 pounds. It’s amazing how little you actually need to be happy. Though to be honest, this is something I need to work on again, because I’ve accumulated quite a bit more crap since settling in KL, which leads me to…..

19 | Finding a second home in Kuala Lumpur

I still don’t have good pictures of KL, so you get a recycled one

In this new nomadic travel life, I’m glad to have found a second home in Kuala Lumpur, a city that endlessly excites me. The decision to settle down in KL for a bit also came at a huge turning point of my life. I needed somewhere to put myself together again. And KL did that and more. I’m not exactly sure where me and this city stand now, but I will always be grateful to KL for healing me and providing me with a home.

20 | Learning to put my own happiness first

And the last one – the biggie. This is still a work in progress, but I think I’ve done a good job of designing a life that is fulfilling and happy. This means not living a life based on what society, parents, or even your partner expects you to do. There were some hard lessons along the way and some people that mean so much to me had to disappear from my life. But I’ve also gained so much more. I know I’m entering this new decade a much happier and more confident person.

Maybe I’m just feeling extra emotional and sappy, but I’m tearing up slightly as I’m finishing this list. Because looking back onto it, though there’s been quite a few curveballs and heartbreaks, I’ve had a truly wonderful life thus far. And I feel so grateful for everyone and everything that entered it and gave me memories and taught me lessons. And I know that life is only going to get better from here.

What have been some of your favorite experiences?

Comments

    • Thanks Courtney! It’s been a curvy road getting here, but I am happy that I’m making a completely location-independent living now! And I’m excited for what there may be in the future too. :)

  3. Aw, girl this made me tear up, too! I know we’ve never met but I feel I know you so well just through your blog and really hope we get to meet up someday because I feel we’d be such great friends. You’ve accomplished so much in your 20’s and I admire you so much for all of it! You’re so strong and I know your 30’s will be your best decade yet. ;) xoxo

    • I really hope we get to meet up too Amanda!! Are you still thinking of doing the study abroad in China? I am planning on spending part of the year in the US and I’d love to use that opportunity to travel around the US a little, including visiting Seattle (which I’ve never been!). I have a feeling the 30’s will be the best too! xxx

  4. I love this Anna! You should be proud of what you have achieved and that is really exciting to be able to fully support yourself by freelancing now! Now i have taken on two new clients, I have just reached this milestone myself. Yay for us!

    • Yay! I’m so proud of you for reaching this milestone too! But I am slightly jealous too that you are able to travel in more expensive countries ;). I am really happy that I’m able to stay on the road and be completely independent now!

      • Don’t be jealous, I had some money left from when I did my last trip for the Caribbean, and I can only afford to love in the US by housesitting, camping and staying with my boyfriend’s fam. If I had to pay rent, then it would be a different story!

        • Oh I know! I’m going to be spending part of this year in the US and I would love to travel around a bit, but it’s so darn expensive. I should look into hosuesitting too. But I’d still have the problem of lacking a car to go where I need to!

          • Look for sits in cities with good public transport and you won’t need a car – or look for ones that offer a car – quite a few do. If you do want to sign up, let me know and I will send you a discount link – I think it is 15-20% off

  6. Oh those floating lights, that is just magical!

    Just because we don’t do the careers we studied for any more, we should still be proud of the work it took to achieve them. That’s what I tell myself, when I feel like an idiot for quitting my job. I still worked hard to get there, I just changed my mind and that is ok. I do sometimes regret not finishing the PhD just to prove that I did the work though… which is stupid, since that was far less work than it was to graduate university in the first place.

    I think whatever experience makes you fall in love with travel and freedom (no matter how not great) you will always have a soft spot for because of that. For me, it was our Interrail trip we took together, it was our first major trip and although it wasn’t the most well planned and it could have been so much more, it was still perfect in it’s own way. Without it, I would never know how much I love to be out in the world.

    I loved everything about this post! Damn, it even makes me a little emotional! There’s just so much here that you should be so proud of yourself and never doubt that you are a smart, beautiful and reasonably well functioning human being ha!

    I have a few more years until I am thirty, but I can see this being a post for me in the future!

    I think this “For a long time after I quit my job, I believed I didn’t have any skills.” – this is where I am at the moment and I hope that 2017 will be the year I can see past that. At the moment, I haven’t a clue where to start, but I have a whole year to crack the code!

    • Kerri!! I always love reading your comments :). I too, don’t think we should be mad at ourselves for not continuing on the career path of our studies (our parents though, may be mad about that haha). After all, we were so young when we had to choose what to study and how would we know at that age if we could really do this profession for foreeeeever? What’s more important is being able to find something we’re more passionate about.

      And haha! I love that – “reasonably well functioning human being”. Hahahahahaha. That’s seriously how I feel most of the time. I feel like I’m not adulting well when I spend half a day watching Netflix, but who cares! If that’s what I feel like doing and I can support myself to do that!

      Don’t give up! You’ll find something especially with your educational background. Seriously look into some medical writing (or just normal writing!) jobs. I think we’re all more capable than we give ourself credit for. I wish I had the confidence earlier. So don’t worry! You have time to figure it out :). xxx

      (PS I’d so love to meet, but sadly Europe is not in my plans for the near future).

      • Luckily, the only person who pays my student loans is myself, so no one has any right to complain about my career choices! Except that they seem to find reasons… sigh.

        I need to start looking at the medical writing and such. I think I can do that, I do actually enjoy that kind of thing. I guess, I’m waiting for a push to make myself go out there and find it… I guess I’m being a little lazy at the moment, a lady of luxury, since Kris is doing all the money making and I’m just at home. I do enjoy it most of the time, except when I doubt myself. I guess, I should just be grateful to be in such a “sort after” position by many people.

        I am afraid Asia isn’t in our near future plans either, but I would always love to stay in touch with you, incase we cross paths one day!

        • It’s completely okay to take some time off and just enjoy life. Heck, I wish I’m still a lady of luxury sometimes :).. When you get to the point when you start to feel bored or feel loss of purpose, you’ll figure out what the next step is. Seriously, don’t worry too much! When you do feel ready to look for jobs, I think you’ll find that it’s not as hard or scary as you think. :)

  7. Love love LOVE this – especially that last one, wow. You have really packed an amazing amount in to this decade – and, like you commented on with mine, I really admire those great life accomplishments and family relationships that you’ve built. As well as the travel – you brought back all of my Vietnam foodies memories with that one! Wishing you all the very best for your 30s – i have a feeling our “30 Things from My 30s” posts (oh god that will be a long one ;)) will be pretty spectacular!

    • In many ways, I think the life/family accomplishments are so much more rewarding! 10 years is a long time and I really feel like I’ve grown so much as a person (though most of this growing was within the last couple of years, I think). Oh god… 30 in our 30’s! I wonder if we’ll both still be sharing our lives on the internet by then!!

  8. aww I <3 <3 <3 this post and I'm so happy to have my sissy as a best friend <3 <3 you

  9. Those were some pretty amazing experiences you already have. May your 30s bring even more wondrous adventures! I too had a similar skiing experience where I was ‘tricked’ to the top of a steep hill and had to slowly slide my way down on my behind, while either crying or cursing the entire way, probably both. That was my one-and-done experience with skiing…

    • Thank you Kelly! Hahaha I hope you were able to have more fun on other slopes! I was told I was a pretty fast learner, so I was brought up to a higher slope, and noooope, immediate panic! But gosh, I miss skiing.. I hope I get to so it again someday.. soon!

  10. Wow! What an amazing look back at your 20s. These are some massive wins and beautiful lessons you got from that decade! Go you and I wish you the best in your 30s and more amazing experiences!

    • Thanks Camila! This was definitely a good decade of personal growth, especially in the last couple of years. I’m glad to be at the point now where I feel okay and grateful for everything that happened (even the bad events). I think the 30’s will be even better!

  11. aww! this was such a heartfelt post. thanks for being honest and vulnerable in your sharing… like i didn’t know your sister was your TWIN sister (that’s awesome), and about settling down in KL, reconnecting with your family in China… it sounds like you accomplished and matured a lot in that decade! and i’m sure God has even more in store for you in the future. =)

    • Thank you so much Soapie! I think I did most of my maturing in the last couple of years (even this past even), and I’m glad to be (mostly) at peace now! You’ve had an amazing year too with some huge changes in your life!! I hope your 2017 is even better! :) xx

  13. What a great decade, especially your independence and reconnection with family! I’m sure your 30’s will be fab too!

  14. What an honest post, and a great decade of travel. Good for you to follow your dreams and also reconnecting with your family. Look forward to seeing where your travels to take you next! #feetdotravel

    • This has definitely been a transformative decade, and when I was 20, never would I have imagined this is where I’d be at 30! And I definitely think that one of the best uses of travel is to reconnect with family. :)

  15. I love this post! You’ve done some truly great things in your 20’s and I have no doubt that your 30’s will be even better! Really looking forward to seeing what the future brings for you!

    • Thanks Jennifer! Looking back, I really do think I’ve had such a wonderful life and I’m grateful for all the twists and turns it’s had. I’m looking forward to what my 30s will bring too!

  16. Let me unashamedly further point out to whoever also planning to explore Malaysia and settle down here for a bit that now is a very good time to do so, since our ringgit is going to the shits these days, so coming here has turned from cheap into dirt cheap. :D

    • Yes exactly! Which is why I’m having such a hard time deciding what to do this year…. keep on basing myself in KL… or go somewhere else?? I think Penang will definitely be part of plan this year though!

  17. Lovely post! I enjoyed reading it. You accomplished so much in your twenties. All I did was get married have a couple of beautiful boys, get a divorce and then go to university. But my thirties! Now my thirties, they were a different story LOL I absolutely love your glamour photos! Very beautiful.

    • Oh please Kelly! It sounds like you had an amazing and fulfilling twenties filled with so much personal growth and HUGE life changes! Life may not always turn out what you expect and there may be really hard times, but we always grow stronger because of it! :) And I’m so glad you’re living life how you want now! Thanks… the glamour shots were so fun to do! And they’ll be such fun photos to look back on when I’m old!

  18. Great post and you have accomplished so much in your 20’s. These experiences will make you who you are and shape your life. I sat and wrote a post a year ago about the lasting impact travelling in my 20’s has had on my life! All positive. I am nearly 50 and yet that decade made me who I am today.

    Will look forward to seeing how the next decade goes! Have a great time wherever you are and whatever you do?

    • I agree that the 20’s really shape the rest of your life! We grow so much in this decade and make important decisions and really start to learn who we are. My life certainly didn’t go the way I had planned when I was 20, but I’m so grateful for the experiences i have had, and have no doubt that it’ll all turn out perfectly fine!

  19. Oh wow, what an incredible decade! I love the mix of personal and travel related experiences, so many amazing events! I have a year-and-a-half left in my 20s and I’ve loved this decade so much :) I think our 20s are always full of so much change. Lots of love to you!! :)

    • You toooooo, Marcella! xx We do change so much in our 20s and the choices we make will affect the rest of our lives. It hasn’t always been easy sailing, but everything is shaping up to be great! And I hope you make the best of your year and a half left of your 20’s!

  20. This is seriously a beautiful post. You’ve done so much in the last decade; I hope you look back at it all and feel PROUD of yourself and your achievements! I think it’s incredible that you’ve learned so much, tried new things, failed and succeeded, and even surprised yourself. I hope when I get to 30 (still some years away) I feel the same about my life! :) Thank you for sharing!

    • Thank you Anna! I know that you definitely will feel the same about your 20’s when you reach the end of the decade. You’re already doing amazing things and seeing amazing places :).

  22. I think you’ve made some amazing experiences and I’m glad I was able to follow along on some of these. I never told you but your post on freelancing and how to land gigs is seriously so helpful!! I’m going to quit my job this summer to do something that I enjoy more and I’ll definitely make use of your tips! Keep up the great work!!

  24. Aww this was such a nice post! Being able to reflect back on ours lives is something we should all do ever so often. #15 made me laugh haha. I didn’t know you are a twin! Glad you both are besties now!

    • Thanks Pam! It’s so true, reflecting allowed me to stop dwelling on any current unhappiness and realize once again what a good, fulfilling life I’ve had. And yes – I’m a twin (fraternal)! :)

  25. Great post! It sounds like you’ve lived an uneventful 20s, and although some experiences may have been more painful than others, to me it seems like at least you’ve really LIVED and not just let life past you by in a mundane way/ Hoping your 30s are equally eventful and more happy!

    • Thank you Bryna! There were definitely some very painful moments, but like you said, they all allowed me to live a fulfilling life! I have no doubt that the 30’s is going to be an even better decade. :)

  26. You definitely crammed a lot into your twenties! I’m so keen to see the floating lights in Chiang Mai, they look absolutely amazing. Petting a panda would be pretty good, too. And I’m just about to start the expat journey myself so am looking forward to all that brings! I admire your independence and outlook. You’re turning the situation you find yourself in into your own and not running scared. That’s a lot more than many people ever manage in their whole lifetime!

    It makes my head spin sometimes to look back at everything that happened in my twenties and just how different life is now, and imagining what on earth could happen in my thirties. I hope as a decade it’s even better for you than your twenties were!

    • If you can see the floating lights, go do it!! It’s SO magical. Although I heard that the free monks’ ceremony is no longer offered (because of how many tourists attend)?? I’m not sure if it was just this past one or for the future too.

      I think you’re going to find yourself on an amazing new journey in your 30’s too, and I so look forward to following along. :) I’m not sure what my 30’s will bring yet (as I seem to no longer have any plans more than 1 month in advance), but I think it will be even better!

  27. Well done girl on so many amazing experiences you have had in your 20s! Do you have a post about the lanterns? I would love to know if they are getting picked up afterwards or if they just end up in the forests never to decompose. I love how you say every relationship has taught you something and getting close to your sister again is the best feeling in the world. Same goes being able to hand out with your family again. I loved reading this, you have given me a great idea for a blog post about my 20s. I still have 5 years to collect my memories, so this reminds me to make them good!

    • I did write a post about the lanterns, but it was purely just about my experience. I have no idea what happens to all the lantern debris afterwards :(. But honestly, the sight is SO beautiful that I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t go take part just because of the environmental issues (I know, bad).

      I really do love that I was able to reconnect so much with my family (both my sister and my Beijing family). Definitely some of the best experiences of the decade! You’re already making so much of your 20’s that I know it’ll be great when you reach 30!

  28. What an incredible decade you’ve had!! It’s so important to look back and celebrate all that we achieve in life as it’s so easy to forget. I will get even better in your 30s too no doubt :) I totally agree about Vietnam by the way, and petting a baby Panda?!?! Wow! (Late) happy birthday to you :)

    • Thanks Ali! I admit that sometimes I do get so focused on what’s currently happening that I forget all the amazing things and experiences that I’ve already had. So this post was so good to do! And I think the 30’s will be better. :) Hehe the baby panda was definitely a fun moment… soooo cute!!

  29. Awesome, you got to see the lantern festival! That’s on our bucket list as well, it looks so amazing, and I have just found out you petted a giant panda :-) Now I see why you loved our post about cuddling one so much :-) Aside from all that, what an inspiring list of accomplishments, you should be so very, very proud of yourself – and what a roller coaster ride of emotions! I love reading about your life, I love hearing about your experiences and I love how passionate, considerate and honest you are. I feel so proud to have e-met someone like you and I sincerely hope we get that chance to meet in KL when we are there. Here’s to an amazing 2017 x #feetdotravel

    • I’m still so jealous that you got to cuddle one!!!! And now that program is no longer available. I still would love to visit Chengdu someday to see them though. It really has been such a rollercoaster decade, and turned out so differently from what I thought my life would be like. But I’m truly grateful for everything that has happened and all the experiences I’ve had! I hope we get to become friends in person soon too!! xx

  30. I enjoyed reading this post Anna. I too studied as an Engineer (Mechanical not Civil) and sometimes think to myself, what if? What if I didn’t leave the UK to go travelling (and not return) in 2008? What if I got a professional job in my field?

    It’s great to see that things are working out as a freelancer and you’re getting to travel the world. So what if you’re not earning as much? Most people I know are never happy with how much they earn anyway, even when they hit six figures. Europe, China, Vietnam and KL are all places I’ve visited many times – I would much rather be visiting them than being paid to be stuck in an office!

    • Hello fellow engineer! And wow, that’s a long time to be gone! And I totally agree… I feel much happier living on a smaller budget in another country, working in bed or at a cafe, than sitting in a cubicle and a million pointless meetings! Sometimes (like really only 3% of the time, maybe), I feel a bit ridiculous that I’m no longer making use of the degree and license that I worked so hard for, but then again, I know I would never have been happy doing it for the rest of my life. I’m glad to know another person who’ve made it work out there! :)

  31. Such an inspirational post and you’ve had such an incredible few years. Really enjoyed reading about all your travels as well as personal life. Here’s hoping for even more adventures in the next 10 years!